On a blustery September evening, I stumbled up the steps and through the doors of the Catholic Center at Northeastern University. I was an 18-year-old freshman and had just been invited by a young man to go on a “retreat.” I didn’t even know what a “retreat” was but I had decided to join the “What Catholics Believe” classes to discover more about the Catholic faith. “Come sign up on Wednesday,” he added as he gave me the address. When I arrived (late) there was a small circle of students listening to a talk. I apologize to the speaker because I have no idea what he said. I didn’t listen. I watched him, the other students, the windows. I examined the room, what everyone was wearing. I ran my own dialogue through my head.
You see, I didn’t know how to listen. I only knew how to talk. I didn’t know how to ponder, to meditate, to contemplate. “Everyone should be quick to listen,” James tells us (1:19), but that supposes you’ve learned to listen. Throughout my years as a student at the Catholic Center I learned to listen very slowly, and sometimes painfully, as God took me step by step through the process of how to focus on others, to think of what they might need. He taught me how to ask questions instead of offering advice. I discovered over time that the importance of listening to others is not only so we can help them, but also because it primes us to listen to God. Without a quiet head and a quiet heart we can’t know what He wants.
Last fall I returned to the Catholic Center, ten years older and married to the young man who had invited me on retreat, two small children in tow. I never thought I’d be in campus ministry, but I am privileged to be a part of helping this next generation of students learn how to listen. Life gets busier after college and it gets harder to make time for prayer, that ongoing conversation. I am encouraged by the vibrancy of the students who want to hear each other and the Lord – who hopefully will help to build a more charitable, caring world wherever they go.
This article originally appeared in our Fall 2016 newsletter.